Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.

Febuary: holy shit drama
March: drama like I've never seen
April: drama flowing out my ears
May: IT'S ONLY THE 6TH WTF DRAMA

I feel like I'm coming undone. It's good to know that after all these years my mother still has the ability to craft personal attacks malicious enough to reduce me to tears. And that my father will still pick me up, carry me on his shoulders, and give me the will to march on.

I've suddenly become very terrified of losing my father. Who will hold up the sky for me when it comes crashing down? I'm obviously not strong enough.

As of this moment I am mother effin' GRADUATED ~!!!

...Now, time to pass out for 36 hours. Wait, no, karaoke first. Then sleep.

So it's eight in the morning because Fedex never delivers at any other time, I answer the door wrapped in my blanket because I'm in my underwear and I'm too lazy to put on pants. I'm trying to balance a huge thing of paper samples while attempting to sign on the electronic signature thingy, and I accidentally drop the electronic signature thingy. Without missing a beat the delivery guy goes,

"Ma'am that's a three thousand dollar machine."

It was a little too early in the morning for me to truly appreciate the humor in that, but now in the light of day (5 am) .... HAHA THREE GRAND. Sure. Let me go grab my check book.


This year for v day, I gave:

Nothing says I love you like a box of miniature rubber chickens.

I got:

FEAST!! Filet mignon wrapped in bacon *_* they look like boobies in a pan
And lots of ferrero rochers.

Where ever you are in the world my lovelies, I'm sending you my love. Kisses for all.

2006, what a hell of a year.

Job offers: Two
Emotional meltdowns: Three. You're never too old to cry in daddy's lap.
Fukuyama concerts missed: One. (has another meltdown)
Marriage proposals: One... =)


While visiting grandpa after his surgery, I found a newspaper clipping of old wrinkly Hugh Hefner and his boobtastic girlfriends placed neatly under the glass covering of the coffee table along side business cards and stock reports. Which can only mean one of two things. Either grandpa wants to live Hugh Hefner's life, or grandpa is living Hugh Hefner's life.

Grandpa... you old hound dog, you.

It's three in the morning and one of my all time favorite movies just came on. Now I'm going to be up until five watching the mighty freakin' ducks. Damnit. ....quack.


And just when I thought wrestling couldn't get any gayer, I found ultimate fighting. The last fight was literally one guy grinding the other into the mat for 4 minutes. I can watch those guys hump pin each other all day.



Come on. With moves called rear naked hold? COME ON.

The only way to heal and grow is to be cut down and torn apart.
I'm still hurting. But I guess that only means I have more growing to do.


On a less emo note, went to see Saw3 tonight with the crew, and was delightfully grossed out. I'm a hard person to gross out, good job, Saw.

Sitting in the last row of the dark theater with my latte watching the matinee screening of an indie film about love life and lesbians made me realize that I will, in fact, miss being a student. Another five months left of shrugging off responsibilities with the same excuses. Soon, all of this will be filed away along with everything else and labeled 'a simpler time'. A time when my biggest worries consisted of the printer screwing up my print job and running into people I hate and having to force a smile. But as the female leads on screen kiss, I realize that I've been waiting for this moment my whole life.

P.S: I miss 80's Michael Jackson. Yes, I'm listening to Beat it right now. ...Yes, I'm dancing to it.

During our midnight trip to Parker's for candy and energy drinks we watched a graying fifty year old stuff a bag of peanuts and a can of french onion dip into his front pocket.

Shoplifting old men = the most hilarious thing in the history of hilarity.

Jeff just cracked open his fortune cookie and got four fucking fortunes.



Somewhere, four people are getting four empty cookies.

And I recall how you sat on the same side of me
it always seemed that you'd always be on my side
you're my best side


Happy three years, babydoll.